On Publishing

A while back, I set a goal of being published by the time I graduated. I wasn't picky about how or what: fiction, non-fiction, criticism, poetry prose. Unfortunately, it didn't work out. I had some close calls. I had a play produced at my college that later went on to be a regional finalist at the Kennedy Center American College Theatre Festival. I also did some self-publishing (check out A Breath of Fiction), so I wasn't feeling terrible about not meeting my goal.

Then this happened.

In other words, I am going to be published.

On Pluralism

I had a friend tell me recently that her logic had concluded she was a Pluralist, i.e. believing that there are multiple roads to salvation/eternal live/nirvana/whatever you call it, or that all faiths are equal. What had gotten her thinking about this was the fact that the Big Three monotheistic religions--Judaism, Christianity, and Islam--all ultimately stemmed from the same source. Christianity was originally a sect of Judaism and Islam was more or less a sect of Christianity. Even reading their respective scriptures will reveal significant overlap between the three. What my friend asked, then, was how can we say that the Jews and Muslims are wrong if they are worshiping the same God we are? After all, Yahweh, God, and Allah are not different gods, but merely the same word in different languages. The argument then is that although they may have started out from the same place, their beliefs have so diverged that they are no longer worshipping the same God. Of course, you could even say the same thing about Christian sects and denominations. Are Catholics and Protestants worshipping the same God? Are Calvinists and Armenians worshipping the same God? Are Methodists and Mennonites worshipping the same God? Where does the division stop?

Ultimately, my response to my friend came from John 14: 6, which says, “Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’” These words by Jesus are pretty conclusive, and they form one of the strongest bedrocks of the Christian faith: believing in Jesus is the only way to salvation. This verse, more than any other has provided Christians with a means of confidently declaring that other religions and belief systems are ultimately futile. The tricky part becomes when you start to speculate on how exactly Jesus is the way to salvation.

Christians have never really been able to agree among themselves on what exactly salvation requires: a prayer? circumcision? a lifestyle? faith? deeds? A pretty strong candidate is what Paul says in Romans 10:8-10, “the word of faith we are proclaiming: That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.” It is safe to say that most Christians accept some application of this verse as the way to salvation.

Of course, the question always remains: What about those who have never heard of Jesus. Paul himself also writes in Romans 1:19-20, “what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.” Later, in Romans 2:14-15, he goes on to say, “Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law, since they show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts now accusing, now even defending them.”

It would seem, then, that even those who have not been introduced to God’s Word, can be held accountable to some degree. And if they can be held accountable, can they not also be redeemed? Wouldn’t it be possible for someone who had never heard the gospel message to look up at the night sky and realize their own weakness and their need for love and for something or someone greater than themselves to rescue them? Is that not what believing in God consists of?

Jesus says something interesting in John 10:16: “I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd.” Some have used this verse to argue that there must be life on other planets. C. S. Lewis, in The Chronicles of Narnia, played around with the idea of Christ visiting another world. More likely, it refers to the Holy Spirit being given to Gentiles and not just to Jews, but one has to wonder if God might not be working in those places far removed from Christianity to bring people to him.

There are some interesting words written in Jeremiah 29:12-13. “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” These words were written to the Jews, but they hold a promise that was repeated by Jesus in Matthew 7:7-8 when he says, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”

I still believe that Jesus is the path to salvation and eternal life. But for those who have never heard of him, I also believe that there are truths that can be learned about him. The spirit of renunciation in Buddhism, the value of creation of most American Indian religions, the devotion to purity of Islam are all traits of God. I don’t think they are the whole picture (mostly because they leave out Jesus), but there is truth there. And if all truth is God’s truth, then maybe God can use that truth bring people to him.

Though it may sound otherwise, there is no conclusion here. This post is as much a working out of some ideas and questions I have as any conclusive statement about anything. I think the answer lies in the Atonement, but I still have a lot to figure out about that too, and I don’t know that I will ever fully understand it.

On Leaving

This weekend, I went to my fifth wedding of the summer, and my fourth in six weeks.

I just graduated from college, so the sheer volume of my friends and classmates having weddings that I have both heard about and attended does not surprise me that much. It seems to be the thing to do--especially where I went to school--you meet someone in college, date for a couple of years, then when you graduate, you get married. It is a pattern I have seen many times. What I was not prepared for was how many of my close, lifelong friends are getting married: almost all of them. All of the male friends and most of the female friends that I was closest to throughout my adolescents are getting or have gotten married this summer, a couple of them to each other. I cannot help but feel somewhat left behind.

That is not to say that I have suddenly found myself in a rush to get married. I have been in a steady relationship for the last several months, and it is going very well, but neither of us is in a place where we feel ready for marriage, and the wedding season has not changed that. Rather, I have the strange sensation of watching these friends of mine setting up homes, entering a new stage of life with a spouse, while I am going to graduate school. It is a silly thought, but I have been subconsciously trained for years to think of marriage as that next step, and with all of them taking it while I remain a student, I gain this illegitimate feeling of inadequacy and stagnancy, even though I am the one who is moving a thousand miles away while they mostly settle in this area.

But then, that is a part of it too. Most of these couples are friends with each other. All through college they were going on double dates or group dates or just generally hanging out together for the simple reason that it is just what couples generally do. Now, they are all standing in each other's weddings. At the beginning of the summer, fiancées were escorting each other down the isle together, and now spouses are escorting each other down the isle. It has been a matter of changing locations and outfits while the bridal parties change only slightly. There are many reasons that could be given for why I have not been as close to my adolescent friends since high school, even though most of us went to the same college, and there is certainly no one place where the fault lies, but what I have realized is how much it affected me that I was single for most of college. These friends were pairing off, while I was making friends with other single people. In fact, very few of the close friends that I made in college are tying the knot now that we have graduated.

This has just furthered my feelings of not only being left behind, but also of losing my friends. It is an anxiety that I have always had and that has caused me a lot of pain over the years, sometimes paralysing me to the point that because I am afraid of losing my friends, my lack of action brings this to effect. With graduation, I had to say goodbye to a lot of friends, people I will never be close to in the same way again. Now with my oldest friends, from whom I have already drifted somewhat, all moving on to married life, and me moving on to grad school in New Jersey, we will be in different worlds, and I already feel guilt for the consequences of that fact.

Change is inevitable.

Change is constant.

Change is not easy.

On America

Yesterday was the fourth of July--Independence Day--a day of unbridled patriotism celebrating the signing of the Declaration of Independence in the typically American fashion of cooking hearty food and blowing things up. I love admiring the beauty of fireworks as much as the next guy (probably more than a lot of guys), but this year the holiday was, for me, somewhat less of an occasion for celebrating America than contemplating what it means to be an American as well as a follower of Jesus Christ.

"Though we have known disagreement and division, we are bound together by the creed that is written into our founding documents, and a conviction that the United States of America is a country that can achieve whatever it sets out to accomplish." --President Barack Obama, 22 June 2011 (full transcript here)

"from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." --Luke 12:48

"today's achievement is a testament to the greatness of our country and the determination of the American people." --President Barack Obama, 1 May 2011 (full transcript here)

"Then they said, 'Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves: otherwise we will be scattered over the face of the whole earth.'" --Genesis 11:4

"With great power there must also come great responsibility." --Stan Lee, Amazing Fantasies #15, August 1962

"And thanks to our intelligence professionals and Special Forces, we killed Osama bin Ladan . . . One soldier summed it up well. 'The message,' he said, 'is we don't forget. You will be held accountable, no matter how long it takes' . . . there should be no doubt that so long as I am President, the United States will never tolerate a safe-haven for those who aim to kill us: they cannot elude us, nor escape the justice they deserve. . . . We are a nation that brings our enemies to justice" --President Barack Obama 22 June 2011.

"For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." --6:14, 15

"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord. On the contrary:

'If your enemy is hungry, feed him;

If he is thirsty, give him something to drink.

In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.'

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." --Romans 12: 17-21

"When threatened, we must respond with force." --President Barack Obama, 22 June 2011

"Now this I know:

The Lord Gives victory to his anointed.

He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary

with the victorious power of his right hand.

Some trust in chariots and some in horses,

but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.

They are brought to their knees and fall,

but we rise and stand firm." --Psalm 20:6-8

"Red alert is the colour of panic

Elevated to the point of static

Beating into the hearts of the fanatics

And the neighborhood's a loaded gun

Idle though lead to full throttle screaming

And the welfare is asphyxiating

Mass confusion is all the new age and it's creating a feeding ground for the bottom feeders of hysteria

Hysteria, mass hysteria!

Mass hysteria!

Mass hysteria!

Mass hysteria!" --Green Day, "American Eulogy"

"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. he causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore as your heavenly Father is perfect." --Matthew 5:38-48

"The belief that violence 'saves' is so successful because it doesn't seem to be mythic in the least. Violence simply appears to be the nature of things. It's what works. It seems inevitable, the last and, often, the final resort in conflicts. If a god is what you turn to when all else fails, violence certainly functions as a god. What people overlook, then is the religious character of violence. It demands from its devotees an absolute obedience--unto death. The Myth of Redemptive Violence is the real myth of the modern world. It, and not Judaism or Christianity or Islam, is the dominant religion in our society today." --Walter Wink, "Facing the Myth of Redemptive Violence" (the full article, here)

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all." --Francis Bellamy 1892.

"No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate one and love the other, or you will be devoted to one and despise the other." --Matthew 6:24

"Well maybe I'm the faggot America.

I'm not a part of a redneck agenda.

Now everybody do the propaganda

And sing along to the age of paranoia.

Welcome to a new kind of tension

All across the idiot nation

Where everything isn't meant to be okay.

Television dreams of tomorrow.

We're not the ones who're meant to follow

For that's enough to argue." --Green Day, "American Idiot"

"Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instittuted, and those who do so will bring judgement on themselves. For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be freed from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and you will be commended. For the one in authority is God's servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for rulers do not bear the sword for no reason. They are God's servants, agents of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience.

This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God's servants, who give their full time to governing. Give everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, 'You shall not commit adultery,' 'You shall not murder,' 'You shall not steal,' 'You shall not covet,' and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself' Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfilment of the law. --Romans 13:1-10

"Don't wanna hear the noises on TV

Don't want the salesmen coming after me

Don't wanna live in my father's house no more

Don't want it faster, I don't want it free

Don't wanna show you what they done to me

Don't wanna live in my father's house no more

Don't wanna choose black or blue

Don't wanna see what they done to you

Don't wanna live in my father's house no more

Cause the tide is high

And it's rising still

And I don't wanna see it at my windowsill

Don't wanna give 'em my name and address

Don't wanna see what happens next

Don't wanna live in my father's house no more

Don't wanna live with my father's debt

You can't forgive what you can't forget

Don't wanna live in my father's house no more

Don't wanna fight in a holy war

Don't want the salesmen knocking at my door

I don't wanna live in America no more

Cause the tide is high

And it's rising still

And I don't wanna see it at my windowsill

MTV, what have you done to me?

Save my soul, set me free!

Set me free! What have you done to me?

I can't breathe! I can't see!

World War Three, when are you coming for me?

Been kicking up sparks, we set the flames free

The windows are locked now, so what'll it be?

A house on fire or a rising sea?

Why is the night so still?

Why did I take the pill?

Because I don't wanna see it at my windowsill." --Arcade Fire, "Intervention"

"When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitled them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. . . . when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security." --Declaration of Independence 4 July 1776 (the entire transcript, here)

"Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every human authority: whether to the emperor, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. For it is God's will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people. Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God's slaves. Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor." --1 Peter 2:13-17

"Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who clled you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: 'Be holy, because I am holy.' Since you call on a Father who judges each person's work impartially, live out your time as foreigners here in reverent fear. For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors,, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake. Through him you believe in God who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God." --1 Peter 1:13-21

"Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all." --Colossians 3:11

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." --2 Corinthians 3:16-18

I love where I live. I have loved growing up in America, and I would not ask to change that, but I have to admit that I am not always proud to be an American. I find the "American Dream" hollow and disillusioned, our esteem of individualism dangerous, and our foreign policy sickeningly awful. Of course, America's history is littered with dishonourable acts against all sorts of people. Furthermore, as a Christian, I don't believe that I can give my full allegiance to a country when I have already given it to God. Aligning myself with America would be aligning myself with the totality of America's ideas and actions, and that is something I cannot do. Of course, I would not disown America or my social responsibilities. I love America's people, I love it's natural beauty, it's food, it's literature, it's music, it's art, but I have a really hard time putting up with it's politics and policies. Additionally, I believe that most of Christ's teachings, if adhered to will make someone a model citizen and go to helping both community and country.

On Scattered Showers

I rise when the sky falls.

On Peace

For a long time, I have wanted to post something explaining a bit of what I learned in my ethics and value theory course this last semester. I have already published a couple of essays I wrote for that class on this blog, but it had such a large impact on my life, that I think more deserves to be said, especially when it comes to how my thinking on ethics has changed somewhat.

Much to my surprise, I quickly discovered that the essence of not only drama, but also ethics was, in fact, conflict. When people have opposing goals or ideologies, it is the realm of ethics to arbiter that conflict. I believe that I--much like Langdon Gilkey at the beginning of his memoir, Shantung Compound--had a very naive perception of ethics before taking the class. As an idealist, I want to believe that simply showing people a just solution will convince them that it is right. However, it is rarely that simple. This is a lesson I should have learned from growing up with a younger sister, but it has somehow taken me until college to learn it. Justice and fairness are more often a matter of perspective than of objective good or logic. As John Donne once put it, “Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend, / But is captived and proves weak and untrue.” We humans can use our logic to justify anything.

Furthermore, in some situations, the just or right solution is much more difficult to discern, and matters become further complicated when more people become involved. I think of the moral issues addressed in J. M. Cotzee’s Age of Iron. How does one make restitution for generations of injustice? Who is to blame? Who is innocent? Solutions to such questions seem beyond ability of imagination to conceive. What about when nations are in conflict? Who is qualified to serve as an intermediary or to decide what is right on such an enormous scale? Such questions opened my eyes to the true difficulty of ethics.

Another revelation for me, and perhaps one of the most significant, that came through this class was that I am a pacifist. I suspect that I have been for some time now, but for whatever reasons, I have been unwilling to admit it. My senior year of high school, I was convinced of the idea that, although war is awful, sometimes there is a peace that can only come as the result of a war. I admired William Tecumseh Sherman and his doctrine that hard war makes for easy peace. To my shame, I admit that I advocated such ruthless violence as Sherman’s march to the sea and the dropping of the atomic bombs. I also condoned capital punishment in the form of the death penalty. I did not like it, but knowing that my uncle and grandfather once helped convict a man of murder and that this man promised to break free and hunt down those who convicted him unless he was executed seemed like an insurmountable case for using capital punishment to protect others. Similarly, on a personal level, I knew that if I or my loved ones were threatened, I would do whatever necessary to defend them. Of course, peaceful solutions were rarely a part of my imagining.

I think back to when a house I was living in was broken into and robbed. That night I learned that my fight or flight response is to fight. As soon as I realized the circumstances, I picked up the first loose object I could reach to use as a weapon and marched into the house to confront the situation. Of course, the thieves were already gone, which is probably good since I have no idea what I would have done if I had found someone, especially since the "weapon" I had picked up was nothing more than a garage door opener. At the time, I was on edge and a bit freaked out, but looking back, it just seems absurd. What would I have done? Thrown it at them? Then what? Probably gotten knifed or shot or something. What if I had been holding a gun and found someone? With the adrenaline pumping would I have fired it? What would that have solved, and what would have become of me?

During my time at college, the foundations for my beliefs in violent solutions to ethical problems were slowly chipped away until they were supported by little other than my stubborn refusal to revise “convictions.” My freshman year I wrote two ten minute plays, one of which dealt with the absurd injustice of executing a murder and another which used humor to subvert the seriousness of the decision to drop the atomic bombs. Whether I realized it or not, these began my questioning the validity of these beliefs I had once held. Now, this semester, those beliefs were toppled. Like the absurd garage door opener in my hand as I stalked through a robbed house, I realized the ridiculous notion that hurting people would resolve conflict. It was not until our class began debating just war I realized how strongly I opposed the views I had nominally held for so long. My advocacy for the separation of church and state, my belief in the value of individual human life, and my rapidly growing understanding of what it means to live like Jesus had convicted me, and I realized that I could no longer support violence as a means to any end.

On Follow-up

Hey, remember that time I was in a poetry reading? Well, thanks to the folks over there at Artpost, there is now a video of me reading poetry on youtube. You should check it out.

On Ideas

Those who know me well know of my great love for the writings of William Shakespeare. While I don't know better than anyone else what it is that makes his writing so persistently powerful, but I know that I aspire to write with even a measure of his skill. I have certainly always wanted to write a play in verse, whether iambic pentameter. Like many amateur dramatists, I also feel a strong draw toward the tragic, there is just something mesmerizing about a poetic sadness, something engrossing in the scale of compacted human sorrow. And when I think about trying to write like Shakespeare, I often think of writing tragedies.

Lately, a number of these ideas have been blossoming, and I am not sure yet what to do with them, because I don't yet think I am equal to task of compressing these stories into dramatic form, but I still can't stop the ideas--ideas like a play about the decline of King Saul (think the Scottish play meets Richard II), like the tragedy of Absolom (something like Henry IV part 1 with some King Lear and Titus Andronicus to give it that tragic flavour), or like the story of Robert E. Lee during the Civil War (this could be considered a history, but if you know much about Lee's life, there is plenty of tragedy to go around). I guess all I can do for now is let the ideas simmer.