On Words

Is it strange that the more I learn about words, the less I trust them, and the more I want to dedicate my life to their usage?

On Opening

There is nothing like the first taste of a new book.

you run your fingers over the cover

your thumb catches the edge or the corner

and you open it

a new world

I don't know the story, the characters--who they are or who they will become, where they will go or what they will do. I learn their names, their faces, their habits. I learn their hopes, their disappointments, their secrets. They teach me, and I respond to them.

with a thousand unspoken thoughts

with that slight change in my voice

almost unnoticeable

a slightly different pronunciation perhaps

an added depth

or hollowness

with the words I will write

my words?

or no one's

or everyone's

with the way I look into the faces of strangers

with the way I choose

Pages turn like days, like minutes, like years. A thumb on one page, a forefinger ready to turn the next. The world is new--is changed--is revealed with every turn.

Expectation, anticipation, hope, disappointment, secrets wait within a closed book. Beginning, end, continuation--all moments as one between the covers. A voice, and utterance, a story--waiting to tell, waiting to be heard.

On Turkey Day

I am thankful . . .

for Odysseys

for homecomings

for family

for love I haven't earned and couldn't get rid of even if I wanted to

for hugs

for friends who edify

for friends who call me out when I'm wrong

for friends who are friends even when I don't keep in touch very well

for friends who are friends even when I don't tell them how desperately I care

for them

for good coffee

for good tea

for good bread

for pomegranates

for eggs

for turkey cranberry and brie sandwiches

for berry crumbles

for cider

for scones

for hot chocolate

for cheesecake

for pumpkins

for soup

for stir fry

for cumin

for ginger

for garlic

for soy sauce

for chilli powder

for meals of only fruit and bread and cheese

for a healthy body

for a healthy mind

for ideas

for great writers

for great thinkers

for great painters

for great musicians

for great actors

for challenges

for the stack of books and scripts demanding my attention

for stories

for beginnings

for ends

for the fact that nothing ever truly begins or ends

for loud, bright places

for dark, quiet places

for trees

for water

for clouds

for rain

for stars

for the moon

for the things I've remembered

for the things I've forgotten

for failures

for humanness

for limitations

for weakness

for Grace

for God

On an Itch

Sometimes, I think nothing spawns creativity more effectively than other creativity. This Friday I had the privilege of seeing my dear friend Hannah's senior comprehensive which combined dance and a whole lot of other medium, lots of projections especially. It was astounding. I understood it perfectly and also not at all, which I think would please Hannah a great deal. However, perhaps the greatest thing about seeing it has been that ever since then I have had such a tremendous creative itch that refuses to be assuaged. Every time I scratch this itch, it seems to move to another region, so I am in this constant cycle of pain and desire and relief. It is terrible. And it is glorious.

On Mist

Whenever I think about the fact that we have only a brief time on this earth, and none of my days are guaranteed, I have one of two reactions. Either I am drawn to freak out about all of the many things that I have not done or have not accomplished or wish I could do, or I am drawn to forget about all obligation, desire, or aspiration and to merely live in the moment--be where I am--simply exist and enjoy the things which could be taken away in a moment.

Fortunately (and I mean that sincerely), I am a moderate in temperament (along with most facets of my life), and I do not change so swiftly or easily that either of these inclinations should cause me much trouble. However, I fell them there--always pulling at my mind. And I wonder whether it is greater wisdom to ignore them both or to find the place where they meet and head in that direction.