This summer, I have been living with six other guys in a house provided by the University of Notre Dame. We are all students working for the Notre Dame Shakespeare Festival. Last night, one of my housemates and I returned to the house after a movie to find the door ajar. We thought it just meant that someone was home and had absent-mindedly forgotten to lock the door. Then we realized that it wouldn't shut because it had been kicked in, breaking the door itself, the latch, and bending the dead bolt.
The house where I am staying was robbed last night. Five computers (including mine) and an x-box were stolen, along with some other small electronics. A police report has been filed, but we're not really expecting much to come of it. Situations like this are difficult.
It has been an interesting experience. I have never been robbed before. It is quite different than I ever would have imagined. And I certainly never would have expected to take it the way I have. Once I got over the shock of the matter, I sat down to just think it over. What had I lost? Well, I lost a computer. Yes, it is a lot of money, but in the end, it is essentially just a time consuming collection of plastic and silicon. I was a bit more upset about losing all of my writings that were saved on the computer, but most of them, aside from a play and a short story that are both in progress, are backed up with hard copies. It is a bit upsetting that I lost almost all contact with the outside world. I don't have a phone, and now I cannot even communicate with people online. That is a bummer, but it will be amended in time. However, as I reflected, I came to discover that I had lost something else, and this was the most surprising.
I had lost my fear.
I don't know when it happened or how. Perhaps it had been long gone, and I simply hadn't noticed. Nevertheless, as my housemates began making preparations to find places to stay for the night, I realized that I had no qualms about sleeping in a freshly robbed house with the door kicked in. Now maybe that is just foolishness, but I simply wasn't afraid. It was actually a relief. I hate it whenever fear enters my life, and to not feel it at such a stressful time was remarkably freeing. What was there to fear anyway? I had already lost the most lucrative of my possessions, what else could be taken? My life? Why should I fear death?
Now, I did not stay in the house. A friend gave me a couch to sleep on. It has been remarkable how much compassion my housemates and I have received as a result of the incident. It has been encouraging, but, as I have said, I don't feel like I have lost that much. Maybe I am just too laid back for my own good. My only real misfortune is a bit of inconvenience in communicating with people, but other than that, I am doing quite well. Still, if any of you reading this are looking for something to pray for, feel free to pray for my housemates and I. This has been a lot harder on all of them, and it is certainly going to be unpleasant to replace these stolen items, even for someone as laid back as I am. Nevertheless, I know that God has been present, and his hand has been here protecting us. I have spent all summer reading through the prophets and learning about how God is a redeemer bringing good out of evil. I don't want to let a silly thing like a laptop make me forget what he can do.
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