I first started thinking about this while visiting museums in Europe. One thing I noticed was how frequently mothers were portrayed in art, particularly with their children. Not many fathers though. I even did a google image search to see if this was a legitimate observation, or just a figment of my imagination. Searching for "mothers in art" turned up 20,300,000 results. The same search for "fathers in art" turned up only 6,780,000 results as well as Google's prodding: Did you mean: mothers in art, though no such option had existed on the page for mothers.
Granted, a popular image in Renaissance art, particularly in Italy, its birthplace, was the Virgin Mary with the infant Jesus (these were all over in the Italian wing of the Louvre and in the Musei Vaticani, and most of them were rather unoriginal). Recently, I was in the Church of St. Joseph in Mishawaka where there is a stained glass window showing the holy family. Both Mary and the child Jesus have halos, while Joseph, the namesake of the church, had none. Now, another window does show him with a halo, but it was still an interesting contradiction. It is not the only time I have seen such a portrayal either. But what was fascinating was that even in a church proclaiming that father's sainthood, he was regarded as less significant than his wife even though an angel appeared to him as well and some scholars believe that he, like his son after him, may have been a rabbi. However, those images aside, there is still a large imbalance in the portrayal of mothers verses fathers.
Beyond just the history of art in the West, this seems to be an increasing trend. For the greeting card industry, Mother's Day has always been more lucrative than Father's Day. Is it because cards are sentimental and men aren't supposed to be? That could explain part of it, but it still seems kind of illegitimate. Perhaps it is because fathers are more generally associated with raising their sons while mothers nurture children of both sexes. Maybe that explains a bit more. More often, however, in this age of changing definitions of family, if there is a single parent, it is the mother rather than the father.
The absent father has become a very unfortunate stereotype in the West and particularly in the US. In the movie Fight Club, the character Tyler Durden refers to modern society as "a generation of men raised by women." Many men have grown up without a father or even a father figure. Unfortunately, almost as popular as the absent father stereotype is that of the bad father. This one takes a variety of forms but it becomes a monstrous shadow in the minds of too many sons, sometimes one that they come to embody themselves. Why then should sons value fathers? Do they even know how to be fathers? I tend to think this trend, along with generations of unreasonably extreme gender polarization are responsible for the current gender crisis (that is a huge issue in itself, but let it suffice to say that gender has become a far bigger issue--a far more penetrating question--than perhaps it ever should have been).
And though I write from the perspective of a son and have seen so many of my fellow males hurt by absent or bad fathers, I know that it hurts daughters as well. A daughter without a father is not really better off than a son without a father. There is a lot to learn from an opposite. And the feminine gender has also been wounded by having an unstable pair.
Nevertheless, I believe one of the more tragic consequences of the disintegration of the figure of the father, probably the most tragic, is what it has done to the image of God, so often called the Father. For many, this calls up countless negative connotations of their own fathers which are then projected onto God. Admittedly, this is not the only analogy God has given us to understand him (after all, no analogy can contain a boundless God), and no father can be a perfect representation of the paternal qualities of God, but the damage has been done. So many have been turned away by the frequent association of God as father. Now, I have no problem with those who are drawn to the idea of looking at the feminine qualities of God or God as mother. I think there are things to learn from that perspective, but I don't think it ultimately fixes the broken image of God.
I don't know what can.
Fortunately, God is a God of redemption, and he can take care of himself.
I have been lucky. I have a great father. He is not perfect, it's true, but who is? I still have tremendous respect for my father. And I measure his faults against the great love he has for his family.
For me.
My father and I are very different people. But there is so much of him in me as well. I have his broad shoulders and his long torso, his calves, some of his smile, but I also have his love of writing and the Cubs. Sometimes I see traces of his faults in me as well. But I hope with all of my heart that I have his compassion, his love of family, and his simple pride. My father has taught me what it is to be a man. And it has nothing to do with strength or power or knowledge or virility, but with holding my head high and loving others.
I love my dad. And I see God in his goodness.
1 comment:
This is good.
Post a Comment